Contrary to popular belief, trauma is not what happens to us, but rather how the event gets interpreted by our nervous system. This means that the experience of trauma is highly person-specific, as individual nervous systems have varying levels of capacity. What may seem like a casual event to one person, may indeed get interpreted as trauma for another person.

Thus, as trauma-informed therapists and coaches, we must carefully consider the effect of the event on the individual, rather than the event itself.

What matters with respect to an event qualifying as trauma, is who the individual was able to confide in and receive support from. An experience becomes ingrained within the psyche as trauma when the survivor is unable to share the personal impact of the event and consequently be met with empathy, understanding, and care.

Most trauma survivors, in fact, are unable to place words to the traumatic event, and this is known as a hallmark of trauma. Thus, trauma-informed therapists and coaches must be adept at working with an individual’s somatosensory cues and conducting parts work to understand how the individual coped with the traumatic experience.

What happens post-trauma is that the brain shifts resources in order to continue on with normal life. The left brain (known for logical processing) continues with normal life while the right brain (known for emotional processing), compartmentalizes fight, flight, freeze, fawn, and attach defenses. Interpreting and integrating each of these allows for healing for a trauma client.

As a Complex Trauma-informed Coach, I have had experience working with traumatized clients who exhibit certain defenses during our initial sessions, and over time, as they come to rely on their adult self and become more integrated with their traumatized child parts, they relax and seem to mature in their psyche. When a client is no longer acting from defenses or child parts and is able to fully be in the present while owning their past experience, it is a beautiful marker of trauma integration.

If you or someone you know has suffered from trauma (common markers include dissociating during conversations, freezing, or getting agitated), please be gentle, compassionate, and kind to them, and offer them support by seeking out a trauma specialist.